My Mammy

Mammy is my 97-year old grandmother that lives in Wildwood, Florida. For the first time in her life, she is experiencing some major health problems and it has me concerned about her quality of life moving forward. I just don’t want her to suffer.

I was blessed with four of the most amazing grandparents in the world and Mammy is the only one I have left. Mammer passed away in 1995. Pappy died in 2004. Pop left us in 2009. All four made an immeasurable impact on me and I think of them each and every day. All four are prominently displayed in my office and I often look at their pictures when I need a smile or a deep breath.

Mammy was just out here to visit over Labor Day Weekend. She went to our YHS football game on Friday, September 1st and I even had the announcer recognize her over the PA system. She enjoyed a burger at the Booster Club's "meal deal." We watched college football on Saturday. We took a walk that Sunday. We sat on the front patio and talked for an hour that Monday. It was so great to see her and I kept hoping it wouldn’t be the “last time.”

Mammy was also out here in June for my oldest daughter’s wedding. She brought her best friend, Miss Jackie, who we love very much as well. Those few days with Mammy are another topnotch memory and I’m so glad she was able to see one of her great-grandchildren get married. I made sure I gave her lots of hugs.

Mammy loves Nebraska sweet corn and we had some that trip! She visited us in West Point, Franklin, and York over the years and always looked forward to some corn. She loves the importance of farming as she grew up in watermelon and cantaloupe country down south.

Mammy taught me a lot. One of the more amazing things was her dependability. She played the organ in the First Baptist Church of Oxford, Florida for over 65 years! She only missed about six Sundays during that entire span, an average of one per DECADE!

She taught me how to look after others. There’s nobody in Sumter County, Florida that has ever been sick or homebound or experiencing some adversity that didn’t get a homemade pie from Mammy, I can promise you that! She has one of the biggest hearts in the universe! Her key lime and lemon meringue are my favorites but they’re all wonderful. In fact, back in the day, Village Inn out by I-75 that runs through Wildwood used to contract with Mammy to have her make some pies for them. That’s pretty dadgum good!

Mammy also taught me about forgiveness. As you might imagine, she’s seen and experienced a lot of ups and downs in 97 years. Mammy is always quick to forgive and willing to “let the past be the past.” She’s shown me that sometimes the bigger person has to swallow their pride and extend an olive branch to move past a situation that is awkward for many.

More than anything else, Mammy has taught me about “family” and “love.” Mammy has always been the glue of our family. She has always been the sweet and loving person that made our family tick. She was so dedicated to Pappy before he passed away in 2004. She was so protective of family time on Sunday afternoon after church. She made every holiday special. She made you feel like the most important person in the world.

Mammy taught me about trust. If she told you she was going to do something, she did it. Period. She’s always been rock solid.

One of my favorite memories about Mammy (and Pappy) was that they came up to Ocala for one of my high school football games one Friday night when we had a torrential downpour before, during, and after the game. It was raining so hard the entire game you could hardly see the ball or your opponent. Well, Mammy and Pappy made the 30-minute drive to Booster Stadium and sat in the car in the parking lot and listened to the game on the radio. They just wanted to be “with” me they said.

Mammy got mugged in Jacksonville in November 1987 going to one of our playoff football games. She still made it to the game. She was/is tough.

As a young boy, I would spend almost every weekend with Mammy and Pappy and they would take me to Wildwood High football games. I would often catch a little red and white football from the WHS cheerleaders and would spend all day Saturday playing football by myself as I would throw passes to myself, dodge invisible tacklers, and have a grand ol’ time for hours after hours. I bet you I ate about 12 oranges a day when I was at Mammy’s. They had some of the best orange and kumquat trees in the world right there in their yard.

When I worked in the watermelon fields over the summer, I would often spend the night at Mammy’s as I was too tired to make the 30-minute drive back to Ocala. One time, my good buddy, DR Repass stayed with me. Mammy made 2-dozen chocolate chip cookies. DR ate 20 of them. This would’ve been about 1989. I last spoke to DR in 2013 and he told me those were still the best chocolate chip cookies he’s ever eaten!

I remember lots of Christmas Eves at Mammy’s house. After we ate and everyone was playing with their gifts or visiting with family, Pappy would break out a loaf of bread and a bowl of thick cane syrup. Pappy would then get all of the kids to dip their bread in the cane syrup that was so dark and thick that it often felt like cement. We would all eat a piece or two while Pappy would have 10-12. Mammy would come in and help clean up the sticky mess and just laugh and tease Pappy about his bad habit of bread and cane syrup.

I was very nervous when I left Florida in early August 1990 to leave for college in Atchison, Kansas. I cried several times as I said goodbye to friends, coaches, and family. However, I never cried as hard as I did when I told Mammy goodbye the day before I left. As I pulled out of her driveway, I made it about a half-mile down the road before I had to pull over because I couldn’t see through my tears. That’s what Mammy meant and still means to me.

Mammy was a huge influence on my life. She was one person I could always count on. Aside from the special holidays and events, it was just the “regular” days that I will miss the most. Sitting on her front porch swing, retrieving canned goodies out of mason jars in her basement, or going to her church with her…..every time you were around Mammy, you became better.

When Mammy dies, I will no longer be a grandson and that is a role I will always cherish and deeply miss. I am thankful for the many years and memories that Mammy and I have had together. She is a special, special person that will be greatly missed when her time comes.

Mammy will always be with me in my heart; just like Mammer, Pop, and Pappy are. I kid you not, still to this very day, I often think about what I’m doing and how I’m doing it to ensure that I don’t disappoint my grandparents. I don’t ever want to let them down and though I’m not as good as I want to be, I simply want to make them proud. If you’re the praying kind, please send some positive thoughts for my Mammy.