Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Dealing with Grief

My sister-in-law, Molly, passed away on Saturday, August 18th. It's been a brutally tough time for my family. Molly was "fine" before Thursday, July 19th when she went to the doctor with a headache and some back pain. The next thing we know, after some tests were conducted, is that she has tumors all over her brain and lung cancer. By that Sunday, July 22nd she was pretty much bed-ridden. Shortly after that, she had seizures and lost sight in one of her eyes and never left the hospital again. She passed away on August 18th holding hands with my wife and her parents. Jeb, Bo, and I were en route at the Utica exit on I-80 to say our goodbyes as she died.

It's been tough to deal with the sadness. Molly was only 56 years old. This all happened so fast. She leaves behind Kate, her 18-year old daughter, who graduated from Skutt this past May.

Personally, I'm as sad as I've ever been. I loved Molly. She was a sister to me. She was an amazing and kind person that everyone felt good around. She was special. She really was. When you factor in how hard it is to see how devastated my wife is it gets even harder. Liesl and Molly were close. They were eachother's only sisters. Molly was always there for Liesl. She isn't anymore.

It's hard to wake up each day knowing Molly isn't there. It's harder to wake up each day and see your wife dealing with the fact Molly isn't there anymore either. Then, you throw in how much my kids miss Molly and it's hard to process at times. It's tough to see the toll it takes on my mother and father-in-law, my sister-in-law, and brothers-in-law, my nieces and nephew, and especially Kate.

I know our grief isn't unique. Way too many families lose loved ones every day. To cancer. To suicide. To accidents. We're not special. We know that. This feeling of loss is too common for too many.

I've lost loved ones before. All four of my grand-parents have died since 1995. They all lived well into their 70's to 90's so it was easier to process than losing Molly at 56 within a month of being diagnosed. Molly's death just feels different.

I would give anything if Molly was still with us.

Speaking at her Rosary on August 22nd was the most difficult thing I've ever done. I've given thousands of speeches and talks but not that meant as much as that one. I wanted to be anywhere else in the world doing anything else than saying goodbye to Molly.

Molly is gone. I know that. The holidays will be brutal without her. We will do our best to wrap Kate in love and support and that makes us all feel a little better about "helping out" and having a sense of "purpose" in the memory of Molly.

We are trying to be normal. We are trying to be happy. We are staying busy. We will get back to normal at some point, whatever normal is anymore. Thanks for all of the support.



Wednesday, September 12, 2018

A Blog Full of Random Thoughts

I have gotten out of the routine of blogging each week so I'm trying to re-create the habit with this blog full of random, miscellaneous musings.

* I love the "Golden Question" assignment that Chris Holder requires this time of year from the YHS Language Arts Department. This assignment forces our students to ask a tough question that often invokes passionate responses on both ends of the spectrum. Our students must ask multiple people this "golden question," conduct their own research, and write a paper about the process and findings. It's a wonderful assignment and I'm lucky to be asked several tough questions by our students each year.

Some of this year's questions include the following...

1) Are high school sports taken too seriously? (My answer was HECK YES. Way too many people lose perspective with every win or loss earned by 15-18 year olds. Enjoy the ride and appreciate the process. Us adults had our time to win or lose....now, we need to support our kids and they learn a lot of life lessons with wins and losses.)

2) Does social media isolate people? (My answer was HECK YES. Social media can often lead you to believe that everyone else in the world is happy and perfect and you're not.)

3) Is the value of education declining? (My answer was HECK NO. Education remains extremely important today. It's just changing, and that's a good thing. However, the value of a 4-year education might be on the decline. There are wonderful 2-year programs that do a tremendous job of preparing people for good paying careers.)

4) Should high school students be required to take a Fine Arts class before graduation? (My answer was HECK YES. The Fine Arts are an important aspect of education and society. We all need to be exposed as much as possible to what Fine Arts have to offer.)

* I am excited to see the YHS One-Act rendition of "The Great Gatsby" this year. It should be another outstanding show.

* Our 2018-19 budget and tax request has received approval from our board of education and have been sent in to county and state officials. We have a 3-year average of just a 0.97% annual increase in local property taxes and a 10-year average of only 1.6% annual increase in spending. We are doing our best to "control what we can control."

* The York Wolves Special Olympics Organization is adding Flag Football and Track & Field to our offerings this year. I get to coach the flag football team on Wednesday evenings and it is the best part of my week! York will again be hosting the Special Olympics Nebraska State Flag Football Tournament on October 27-28.

* John Skretta and I had a great meeting with Senator LouAnn Linehan yesterday in Lincoln. We were able to discuss and share ideas on school funding, school choice, and a variety of topics. I appreciate Senator Linehan's willingness to listen to points-of-view that differ from her own.

* Don't forget that Wednesday, September 26th is now a 1:00 dismissal. We will not have after-school programming or afternoon daycare on September 26th.

GO DUKES!