An Entire Week of Reflection

My third child and oldest son, Jeb, will turn 17 this Friday, June 23rd. His is a story worth telling.

On Sunday, June 18, 2000 my wife and I traveled back to our home in Parsons, Kansas from attending some College World Series games in Omaha. We were going to get some sleep, wake up on Monday, June 19th, and pack up our house as we were getting ready to move to West Point, Nebraska to serve as their elementary principal. That's when all hell broke loose.

Around 7:00 AM that Monday, Liesl woke up and told me she thought she was going into labor, that her water broke, etc. Her initial reaction was excitement. Mine was fear. This was just over 7-weeks before Jeb's due date. This was too early. Having had an adopted brother die when I was in 5th grade from under-developed heart issues when he was just 21-days old, I knew all too well about premature birth concerns.

I rushed Liesl to the hospital in Parsons and they said they weren't equipped to meet her needs. She was transported by ambulance to Joplin, Missouri (about an hour away) while I followed behind in our mini-van. The rest of the day was kind of a blur but I remember the doctor telling us that he was able to delay Liesl's contractions and was confident he could buy us another week to ten days before Jeb would be born. They began to give steroid shots to enhance his development, etc. By the time we went to sleep Monday night in the hospital, we were feeling a little better about things but still scared.

On Tuesday, the doctor came back in for an evaluation and said that Liesl would definitely hold off for at least a week. He told me to go ahead and get our house in Parsons cleaned out (we were closing the sale that week) and get our stuff up to West Point and then come back. He was thinking Monday, June 26th at the earliest. He said we had plenty of time.

With Liesl's permission, I left on Wednesday morning to go back to Parsons to get us moved. I was going to pack up our house on Wednesday and unload it on Thursday and get back to Joplin on Friday. The plan was put into place.

Wednesday, June 21st was horrible....it rained all day....my dad had flown out from Florida to help me and we had one of my buddies and three adults with intellectual disabilities that he supervised help us load up everything. I really stunk at driving a UHAUL truck and a trailer. I couldn't back up....I couldn't see anything....it was a long day.

Thursday, June 22nd was a long day in West Point unloading all of our belongings. It took all day and I remember getting back to Omaha around 10:00 PM to sleep a little and leave for Joplin at 8:00 AM on Friday.

Around 5:00 AM on Friday, Liesl called me and told me she was going into labor. She said she knew she was going to have Jeb that morning even though the nurses kept telling her she wouldn't. I was terrified....I was 5.5 hours away and wanted to be there for her and Jeb. I took off and literally drove 100 mph the whole way...I really did....never saw a police officer either....I was driving a 1995 F-150 that luckily had two gas tanks....I can't explain the fear and helplessness I felt...I pulled over about 8:30 AM and called the hospital from a pay phone and was told that Jeb Jarrod Lucas was born at 7:49 AM and that he wasn't doing very well....they didn't provide lots of info....

I got back in the truck and drove faster and got to the hospital around 9:50 AM, right as the "low fuel" light came on in my second gas tank. I ran faster than I'd ever run before to see Liesl. Jeb had been taken to Neonatal Intensive Care (NICU) and I couldn't see him yet. Liesl was a champ...so strong...so brave...so amazing.

Around 10:30 AM, I washed up, put on sterilized gloves, etc. and got to go in and see Jeb for the first time. He was little...less than 5 pounds but he looked big compared to other babies in there. I felt so bad for not being there when he was born. I felt so bad he was struggling. He had under-developed lungs, heart issues, and severe apnea. He already had cords and wires all over him.

The next few days are a blur...we moved into the Ronald McDonald house across the street from the hospital...we met some amazing and strong people....we would go see Jeb as much as we could every day and night and go back to our room and cry and cry and try to sleep. Jeb would quit breathing and have sever apnea episodes all of the time. On July 4th, we were told that Jeb was strong enough to go home and Liesl and I went through infant CPR training and learned how to work his apnea monitor, cords, etc.

Scared out of our minds, we loaded Jeb and everything up that afternoon and drove to Omaha to stay at Nan and Papa's, my in-laws. It was the most scared I've ever been. Every little sound made us think Jeb wasn't breathing. We got to Omaha and Jeb had over 20 apnea episodes that night...he had to taken to Children's Hospital as he took a turn for the worse....it was so scary.

Jeb stayed in Children's for about 10 days as I recall. He came home for good on/around July 16th. Liesl was unbelievable as she never put him down, hardly ever slept, and did whatever needed to be done to ensure he was safe. Jeb had the heart and apnea monitor for the first 12-15 months of his life. I can still hear that gosh-awful shrill sound of the alarm that sounded when he quit breathing. By the fall of 2001, Jeb was growing and getting stronger and healthier. He made it. He made it thanks to my wife. He made it thanks to God. He made it.

By the time Jeb was two, you would never have known what a rough start he got off to. He was ornery. He was fun. He was becoming one of my best friends, along with Taylor and Micah.

I'm lucky that I still get to call Jeb one of my best friends. I'm proud of the young man he is becoming. I'm thankful that he overcame such a rough beginning. I know there are way too many families that lose children and as I say my prayers every night, I always say "thanks" for allowing Jeb to stay with us.

As the calendar lined up this week and June 23rd was a Friday in 2017 like it was in 2000, it forced me to re-think how that week and summer played out. It has caused me to be thankful all over again. Liesl and I are so thankful for the Ronald McDonald House and the nurses and doctors that cared for Jeb.

I won't let Jeb see me, but I'm sure I will shed a thankful tear on Friday like I do every June 23rd.